butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Randomize
