I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
