So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
