no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
