we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
