i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize