I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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