there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize