who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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