wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
