My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
