Sponge bath it is.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
