I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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