You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
