We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
