nut hugger
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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