she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
