A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Operation Purity has been aborted
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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