You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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