I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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