is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
