Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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