dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Randomize
