Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
