Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
