Duck Duck Cougar?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
