How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
