Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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