My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
