I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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