They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
