My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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