I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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