I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
