So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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