When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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