Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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