Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
