what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
