seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
