Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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