You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
