FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
