God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
