Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
