Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
