I think i peed on brittanys purse
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize