you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
