I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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