I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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