we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
