I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
