I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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