Yo dont text me then not text me
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
