I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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