I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
