Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
