is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize