I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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