Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
