she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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