he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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