Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
