Christians are straight up FREAKS
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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