im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
