I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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