your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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