I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
