i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
