Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
