We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize