I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
