you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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