There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
