Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
