I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
