i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
