This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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