Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
