who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
