its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Terrible idea I love it
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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