lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
